Hi, my name is Valerie and I am a senior at high school in Southern California.  In my Class we are reading a book by the name of Fallen Angels and I was selected to do a report on how the Vietnam Veterans feel about the wall and how the society around them reacted when they returned back from Vietnam.  I would really be thankful if you could tell me some of your feelings of the wall and what it means to you and also the reaction of society upon your return.

Thank you very much,
Valerie

Brothers,

The following is a message I sent to this young lady in California who asked about Vietnam vets and the Wall. I don't think I've ever been able to express my feelings about the Wall this accurately and I wanted to share with my Brothers. 

 

When we returned from Vietnam, the people of the United States did not express their pleasure at seeing us come home.  (That's being sarcastic, but it's also true.)  We expected to be welcomed back like our fathers and uncles were following World War II.  Our cold reception was something of a shock.  The anti-war zealots had done their work well, turning our own country against us for doing what our country demanded we do.  There's a strong sense of irony in that.  What we did, almost to the man, was bury our feelings and refuse to talk about the war and our experiences.  The movies started being made and shown; they all showed the Vietnam vets as losers, drug addicts, pond scum, dangerous, anti-social sub-humans.  The movies pushed us further into our shells.  Meanwhile, we pressed on with our lives.

For example, I stayed in the Air Force for a career, retired, and went back to school and got my degree and teaching certification, and continued school until I got my Masters' degree.  This summer I will begin work on a Ph.D. Something like 97% of the other Vietnam vets were also very successful.  The movies, the novels, the media portrayals were all wrong.  I recommend that you read the book by B.G. Burkett, Stolen Valor.  In the book, Burkett destroys the totally accepted myths held by the American people about the Vietnam veterans, and he does it with facts, numbers, and statistics.  I recommend it highly.

Okay, that's how society treated us and how we reacted to it.  Then, the young female artist, Ling(?), won the design competition and the Wall was built.  To many of us, it was too little, too late.  To others, it was too long in coming.  To some, it was an expression of American remorse and apology to the Vietnam Veterans.  I've been to the Wall.  Many of the vets I know have been there as well.  There are some who have not been able to even approach the Wall.  I know one friend who has tried to visit the Wall at least 4 times.  The closest he has come is 400 yards; he could go no closer. Those shiny, black panels, engraved with the nearly 58,000 names stand there and no one that I know of can go there and leave without being strongly affected.  I bawled like a baby, and I wasn't in combat.  I can only imagine the effect the Wall has on combat vets.  There is a painting, a print really, that shows a middle-aged vet wearing civilian clothes, crying at the Wall.  He is leaning against it, obviously at a panel with the names of buddies killed in the war.  What he can't see, but the people seeing the painting can, is that his buddies are touching his hand from the other side. Hell, I'm crying now.  America sent us to war as fairly young, naive men. The average age of the Vietnam Vet was 22.8 years old.  We did our best and we were winning when we came home, when the politicians in Washington ordered us to quit fighting.  We never lost a battle against the Viet Cong or the North Vietnamese Army, in spite of what was reported by traitors like Walter Cronkite and Hanoi Jane Fonda.  We came home despised for things we didn't do and no one would listen to hear the truth.  Our buddies' names are now on the Wall.  We feel like we failed them.  We feel what is known now as survivors' guilt.  We feel that it should be our names on those black granite slabs.  It destroys us emotionally to visit the Wall, yet it draws us to it like flame draws a moth.  Strangely, while it rips us apart, we are simultaneously healed.  It is my fervent hope that all surviving Vietnam veterans manage to make the trip to the Wall.  America might have spurned us when we returned, but our buddies on the Wall have welcomed us home.

You asked and I've given you as honest an answer as I know how.  If you have other questions, please don't hesitate to ask.  We feel that it is our duty to try and help America understand the war and to understand us. 

Dan Decker

TSgt, USAF Retired

TLCB Historian

TLCB Virtual Museum Curator

 

COMMENTS ON MEMBERSHIP IN THE TLC BROTHERHOOD

 

 

I am proud to be a brother of the TLC Brotherhood.

I was an enlisted man who wore a flak vest and carried a CAR-15 on the perimeter and adjacent flight line of NKP. I was shot at but never hit. Some Spectre crew was always there when I needed the "big light." I helped pick up pilots from banged up aircraft skidding in at night at NKP. I spent more time with my little brown Thai Guards than I did with GI's. I supervised security for the NKP portion of the Son Tay raid. I had the privilege of watching the techno-warriors at work inside Task Force Alpha. I did patrols with the Thai Army Black Panther Division when they returned from Laos. I met the King of Thailand at one of their inspections. I took prisoners on the fence at the NKP perimeter. I donned my gas mask and helped evacuate Army Engineer troops when there was a chlorine gas explosion; at the hospital I learned that a gas mask doesn't filter chlorine. I learned to love the German Shepherds who spent every night alone with their handlers on or outside the perimeter fence, usually being the first alert we had. I respected my CO and he respected me. I got a lump in my throat every time I saw one of those "officers and gentlemen" climb in their A-1E, or their O-2 or their Jolly Green. I had great 3 a.m. chats with their crew chiefs, door gunners and PJ men. I consoled the sobbing Lt Col at the Command Post who told me after the raid that there had been no POW's at Son Tay.

I loved all you guys then and I love you now. Officer? Enlisted man? Fly boy? Grunt? Don't mean nothin"... we are all brothers...

John W. "Jack" Storey

NKP 1970-71

56 SPS, Base Defense

TLC Brotherhood

VFW Post 10249

Vietnam Security Police Association

NRA

 

Well it is a brand new day, TLCB. Wake up and let’s start it off on the right foot.

        Since the first day that I found this site, I have been drawn to the computer like a moth to the flame. I can't wait until I start reading the mail. There are times like today that there were only seven messages waiting for me to read, and there are other days that I have ninety to over one hundred to read. I read most of them and when I get done I delete them all so I wont have my computer die on me. There are times when I have deleted everything, that I say oh s--t, I wanted to save that e-mail address or that story. Then I have to ask a brother or sister for their address or story again and I know that they must be thinking, Boy what a dummy! But you know the funny thing about being in this Brotherhood, every time that I have done so, I have received an answer and usually there are no remarks to make me feel foolish (Ya, once in a while). I love the comradeship of each and every one of you (Sisters included), for your help with computer problems, memory lapses, tips and opinions.

I have never found a place that I can share my memories, dreams, aspirations and my tears, only here in the TLCB can I do that. Not at the VFW, American Legion or the Vietnam Veterans. In all these places I have felt like an outsider, but not here! I hope that I will be part of this great organization for a long time to come, and I hope all of you will stay here with the Brotherhood in good times and bad. Remember we were all in it together and we share a life of service to this great country, whether it be for two years or thirty, we are all the same, together in Brotherhood.

    I hope this day will bring you all happiness, joy and peace.

BILL JAYNES SR. TSGT.U.S.A.F. RETIRED

HH3-E HH-43 FLIGHT ENGINEER

JOLLY GREEN FOREVER

TLC BROTHERHOOD

LIFE MEMBER VFW POST 10249

 

To me the TLCB provides a fairly safe and therapeutic opportunity in cyberspace in which to read about and discuss the war from a standpoint that is remote from disturbing things, which continue to haunt me.    I live with my time in the bush on a daily basis and expend a lot of energy to keep it in the background.  However I still have a strong interest in the war (the moth and flame routine).  All the other members of the TLCB seem to have had such radically different experiences from the ones that affect me that I can't relate well to them, keeping things safe.  In addition they were of great importance in air-based combat and in supporting ground troops.  But the TLCB discussions are usually so remote from what I try to avoid that I find it interesting and comfortable to participate.

As I prefer to avoid being around veterans, I doubt I will attend any reunions, but rather just hang out in cyberspace.

Marvin P. Mathiak

Lifetime Member 1st Cavalry Division Association

Lifetime Member Seventh United States Cavalry Association

Member Thailand-Laos-Cambodia Brotherhood

 

My name is Ed Miller, I was just an Administrative specialist, Buck Sergeant/Staff Sergeant, serving three consecutive tours in Thailand, 1969-1972.  Because of my special security clearances, I never realized how it would affect my duties from the 56 Air Commando Wing Operations at Nakhon Phanom and HQ 7/13AF Special Activities Division at Udorn. I dealt with pilots daily in the Flight Records section and CIA Operations/Liaison.  It was highly classified and sensitive back then, couldn't talk about it and wanted to forget about what I did for 25 years. 

But after getting a computer and searching for old friends, I came across the Thailand, Laos, Cambodia Brotherhood.  It has been just what the "Doctor Ordered" allowing me to talk to others about what I did know or was aware of and now knowing we did the right thing and with HONOR.  The TLCB has been a mind cleansing.

Ed Miller, Retired USAF TSgt

TLC Brotherhood (Charter member) - Remembering Those That Where Forgotten

56 SOW/DO, 69-70 - HQ 7/13AF/DOSA, 70-72

Proud Member of AFTN Memorial VFW Post 10249, Udorn, Thailand

 

The TLC Brotherhood has meant the fulfillment of a dream that someday there would be an organization to share our common experiences in Southeast Asia in locations, which are unknown even to most who served in Vietnam.  Places like Nakhon Phanom known as Naked Fanny where the 56th Special Operations Wing carried out the missions of the "antique airforce" without jet planes. Where the Air Commando's wore "Go To Hell" hats and the 23rd TASS flew tiny Cessna planes low and slow over Laos day and night to direct airstrikes and search and rescue missions.

An organization to "Welcome Home" those who served outside the Republic of Vietnam in the Southeast Asian countries of Thailand, Laos and Cambodia.  The TLC Brotherhood is an organization based on the concept our Brothers died in their efforts to make a difference in the lives of the people of Southeast Asia and today in their behalf, their Brothers who served with them are making a difference in their memory in the lives of thousands of children.

Warmest Regards Brother

John Sweet - TLCB Treasurer

Assistance Committee Chairman

56th Special Operations Wing

Tactical Units Operations Center

1987th Comm Nakhon Phanom 69-70

Air Commando Assoc. # 2924

AFTN Memorial Post - VFW 10249

Udorn, Thailand - We make a difference!

Visit The TLC Brotherhood Web Site

 

Like many of the brothers, I felt as though I was being treated as a second-class citizen (of all things!), first, by the civilians who in my case were mostly indifferent rather than actually hostile; second, by the WWII vets when I got back and joined up with several different Legion and VFW posts;  and then once again by RVN vets who were ignorant of the TLC activities and thought I got a swell R & R assignment after my RVN tour.  Plus, I wasn't in Army Infantry, the Marines or Special Forces, so my 'airedale sky-cop' designation amounted to zip, despite the fact that the Air/Security Police are/were the Air Force's infantry and even armor in foreign war zones like RVN and TLC.  I gathered that most people thought of me as one of the dudes in the blue berets and white gloves directing traffic on base, when in fact I worked in air base defense, civil action and pararescue/aircrew ops, and heavy weapons squads. 

So for the past twenty-five years or so, I've mainly kept most of this stuff to myself, while occasionally reading about it here and there, but never running into another TLC vet until I found the Brotherhood.  I believe you and most of the others in this group understand and appreciate what this has meant, for me, and for all of us:  we can stand tall and walk in the footsteps of all the soldiers, sailors and airmen who've fought in the service of this nation since my ancestors battled in King Philip's War and the French and Indian Wars right here in New England.  Until now, I felt like my service didn't really count for very much:  we "lost" the Vietnam War, and no one knew a blessed thing about the "Secret War".

Because of you and the other brothers, that has changed, and it has mean a great deal to my life as I approach the half-century mark, with a new wife and kids in tow.  (Former wife and I had no kids;  she put up with several of my nightmare episodes, along with a few years of drinking, etc., but eventually our lives just separated and we parted amicably four years ago.)

Things look a lot brighter to me these days, and I am glad to be a part of the TLC Brotherhood, at long last.

Dave Hardy

Sgt., U.S.A.F., Air/Security Police,1971-77

RVN 1972, 8th AF

Ubon RTAFB 1974, 8th AF

NKP RTAFB 1974-75, 56 S.O.W.

SP4, U.SA.R., 1978-80

344 MP Co., 182 Inf. Brgd.

 

  I always try to make it a point (when I see someone in a military uniform) to say thank you for your service to our country. I would have appreciated such a comment when I was wearing mine.

                                  The Bear

 

In the intervening years, I established an internet web site as a tool for a first, tentative reaching out to other veterans of a war we all had tried so hard for so long to forget.  I explored other veteran's web sites and began to make email contact with veteran's groups.  Those first feelers led me to a nascent organization called the TLCB, the "Thailand, Laos, Cambodia Brotherhood."  There, I found the understanding of like-minded vets and a kind of camaraderie I had not experienced since my days in the military. 

After last year's reunion in DC, I wrote an epilog to my wartime memoirs, which I have pasted in below.  It is titled "The Healing."  That healing came about in very large part because of my association with the TLCB.  It helps to explain why this Brotherhood has come to mean so much to me personally.  And for those who have never been to one of the TLCB reunions, "The Healing” may shed some light on the kind of camaraderie enjoyed by those who are privileged to attend them. I'm sure this year's reunion will be just as moving as last year's.

Bob Wheatley

Det 4, 6922 Security Wing

Ramasun Station / Udorn

Dec, 1967 - Oct, 1968

Charter Member of the TLC Brotherhood

Lifetime Member, Udorn VFW Post 10249

 

 

Written by my son David, a third year student at LaGrange College, LaGrange, GA    Bob Pruiksma

 

"Heavy and Grateful Spirits"

On this sad Veterans Day

We remember all our brothers lost.

They fought, they bled, and made a way,

For freedom at their own life's cost.

 

Many served on the battlefront,

Many others behind the lines;

No matter when or where…

Their steadfastness formed a Brotherhood that binds.

 

On this sad Veterans Day,

Let us not forget the Brothers we left behind…

Brothers in bamboo cages, others is foreign graves do lay,

How can their mere Spirit leave our mind?

 

They lived and fought for us

And died so we may say…

We are Proud to be Americans,

And we Thank You on this Glorious Veterans Day!

 

David A. Pruiksma

Dedicated to the TLC Brotherhood and

all The Brothers left behind

 

I am so glad that I joined the TLC for many reasons, one of which is the education I have received on our collective roles in helping to try and win the Vietnam war. You have supplied the lions share of that education for me. and I thank you for it. I was always proud that I served. The main difference now is that I now know what to be proud of. I didn't realize how much our B-52's helped during the siege of Khe Sahn, now I do. I went to work on a buff one day and needed to do some work to the Oxygen system. I asked the crew chief if it would be down for awhile because I needed some extra time. He showed me the big red X in the forms for a cracked wing spar. I went to work on an Oxygen line in the bomb bay, when all of a sudden some maintenance officer was pulling on my pants leg telling me to button it up. He said Westmoreland had called and said he wanted us to send everything we had. The red X was downgraded and away that buff went. I figured it must have been something important, but no one ever told us what it was. I think it may have been for Khe Sahn. Anyway Jimmie, thanks again. Keep up the teaching, I love being a student. I have started your book, it is really good!

Jay Cole

B-52 Maintenance

U-Tapao

 

From:    Dogcop29@aol.com

Boys and girls, brothers and sisters.  I have read quite a bit about the involvement in SEA of the members of the TCLB.  I have never felt the need to have to justify anything to anyone regarding my tour in either Vietnam or Thailand.  I am just as proud of my service in/at NKP as I am with my time in Danang.  I am a veteran of the Vietnam conflict and no one, say again, no one, can or will take that away from me or anyone else that was in SEA during that time.  I was scared in Danang and i was scared in NKP......  I am proud to be a part of any organization, be it VVA, VFW, American Legion....  but I am just as proud of being a member, no, Charter Member of the TLCB.  You Brothers and Sisters are to be held in high esteem by those uneducated few veterans who may look down upon you (us).  Walk tall folks, we were there, we got it done.

Fred Lewis

362nd TEWS

Danang/NKP 72-73

 

Our task continues:

While getting my car tuned, I mentioned being an Air Force veteran.  Murf, the assistant manager, started telling me of his overseas service during the Vietnam War.  He had worked on F-105s at Korat, then was reassigned to Udorn when the Thuds closed out at Korat.  He listed other Thailand service including going back over with a team out of McClellan AFB, California to reassemble aircraft shipped to NKP.

I told him of the TLC Brotherhood and gave his several handouts I had prepared for the 3^rd annual reunion.  As we parted that morning, I said Thank You for his service to our country.  As he started to drive away, he said something similar to me.

Nearly 10 hours later, when I was about to leave with my car, he closed out our conversation about auto repairs by saying:  “Thank you for saying thank you.  You’re the first person who ever has.”

It’s a shame I was the first person in nearly 30 years, but I’m pleased to have been that person.

Jimmie H. Butler

Charter Member of the TLC Brotherhood

8 June 2000

 

Adm. Bull Halsey once said " There are no great men, only great charges (or challenges) which ordinary men must meet." Was he quoting someone else?

In any case, it seems to apply to TLCB.

Charles A. Thigpen

 

 

Jim and Brothers

I truly believe that we will stand out in the many services in Colorado this spring. With these new shirts  we can all take great pride in our Brotherhood. A special thanks goes out to Jim and his Hard work and to the Brotherhood board members and their hard work also. Damn!! All you other Brothers also because you all make me proud to call you Brothers.

God Bless you all and DON'T forget to remember Tommy in our Prayers.

Harold V Martin   USAF Ret  ( Doc Marty )

56 SOW,Udorn Thailand

SEA 1967...1971

Life VFW 10249,Udorn

Member 56 Fighter Group

Life Member ..DAV

Member of TLCB Member..ACA

 

THE PASSING

 

                    1

As thunder rolls in the darkness

Lightning flashes reveal

Boot imprints sculptured

In the red ooze of NKP.

 

                    2

Tiny mountains of red dirt

Melt slowly in the heavy rain

Mark the passing of their creator

Who shall mark the earth no more.

 

                    3

Footprints which cease so suddenly

Lifted up into the hot night air

To fly across the meandering river

Yet never step back down again.

 

                    4

Deep within the towering silence

Of the jagged limestone karsts

A soul is lifted in the hand of God

And the red ooze is laid to rest.

 

                    5

As thunder rolls in the darkness

Lightning flashes reveal

Tiny mountains of red dirt

Melt slowly in the heavy rain.

                             John Sweet - 10/19/99

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Coming Home

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco. "Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."

"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."

"There's something you should know," the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mine and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden to us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come on home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg........

The parents in this story are not unlike many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. (See Luke 15:11-32)

Thankfully, there's One who won't treat us that way. He loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into His forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.

 

 

 

 

"It is the soldier, not the reporter, Who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet, Who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier, Who salutes the flag, Who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, Who allows the protester to burn the flag."

From Scott A. Beaton, Captain, USNR

  

REFLECTIONS ON THE TLC SISTERHOOD

 

When men go off to share the unknown dangers of a war, we have something else in common: the women who stay behind and wait—and pray.  They include mothers, sisters, wives, sweethearts and other friends/relatives.  Theirs is a day-to-day existence just as ours is.  Men in combat form strong bonds of brotherhood, often sacrificing themselves to save another.  The women, too, form supportive bonds, especially around the bases where their men had been stationed before going off to war.  Among the POW/MIA wives I knew in the 1970s, I saw women as brave and dedicated as the men with whom I had flown alongside in almost daily combat.  These brave women maintained an extra level of dignity—under extremely difficult circumstances—so as not to bring any kind of discredit upon the men they loved.

More than two decades after the fall of South Vietnam, some American veterans who served in Southeast Asia came together again to reform bonds of camaraderie shared those many years ago.  A new group called the Thailand-Laos-Cambodia Brotherhood (TLCB) formed to share once again a great pride in having served our country when called upon.  It is only natural that a special bond has formed, as well, among the women who share our lives.

In preparation for an upcoming reunion, Rosie Wheatley suggested developing a signature quilt to raise money for one of the TLCB’s major humanitarian projects, assisting the Thare Orphanage in Thailand.  TLCB members have contributed money and materials for more than a hundred blocks like the two pictured above.  When this TLCB/TLCS quilt was being discussed, it was suggested that we ask members of the TLC Sisterhood to talk about what the TLCB/TLCS has meant to them. 

Jimmie H. Butler

Charter Member, TLC Brotherhood

 

The TLCB has been the best experience in many years to happen for our family.  When Jim became a member in the fall of 1998, I could see immediate changes.  He was able for the first time in over 25 years to communicate with others with like experiences.  He was excited about uncovering the history, and learning along with others.  Such a foundation builds bonds.  After the DC Reunion the bonds were even stronger.  We came home elated and refreshed.  It has been memorable to spend holidays b/c with TLC friends.  We share, support, learn, and enjoy.

The birth of the TLC Sisterhood was a result of the DC Reunion.  When wives witnessed the joy shown from the TLC, we wanted a piece for ourselves.  Christina, Linda, Annell, and I were members of Vetwives then, and talked about how wonderful it would be to have the TLCS.  Linda and I queried wives in DC, and found the same camaraderie “our guys” experienced.  Annell thankfully agreed to be the webmaster, and Linda and I wrote invitations to wives.  We have about 20 members now.  We, too, share, support, learn and enjoy.  Each Sister has a special talent.  I haven’t been near military wives in 20 years.  When our loved ones left to do their jobs, we sustained each other.  When that was removed we went on, not realizing our loss.  Now that puzzle piece has been found.  I feel whole again.  We hurry to the computer to visit with each other.  The quilt was an idea that grew and will be a magnificent contribution for the COS Reunion. Today Sally MacDonald gave a perfect synopsis of a recent interchange we had.  I sent Christina the video “Return With Honor” hoping it would inspire her to write more of the poetry we all love.  Here is Sally’s post:

“Hey, this group and exchange is cool! Let's see, Chris saw a film, wrote some poems, you all discussed who the prisoners were in the film, some of you replied - with names and email addresses, Chris wrote to one, got an immediate answer with more info, and it turns out the he's THE ONE whose bracelet Donna wore for the years he was a prisoner - and offers to send him the bracelet if he'd like!  Like wow!   We are really clicking and connecting!”

In conclusion, thank you dear TLC Brothers for what peace and renewed challenges you have given our loved ones. Our lives are greatly enriched because of the TLCB and TLCS.  Perhaps my quote to a Sister last night as we had all celebrated her birthday with her summarizes my feelings.

“I'm so glad you had a great day.  By personal experience, it makes a birthday, and everything else, special to have each other.  I often say, ’Thank you Lord for my new loving family.’"

Donna Bartholomew

 

Having asked about the sisterhood, you may get a number of replies.  It is an amazing group - Christina is writing a poem about us - who have bonded exceptionally well and fast.

 What we have in common is our guys - you guys - what you went through, how you reacted and came back, or did NOT come back...how we had to deal with our lives and hurts, along with your lives and hurts, both during the crises (plural) and for years later, until now, in many cases, physically and most all, emotionally. 

Just as you guys, we have our own shorthand and references; we tread softly, so as not to hurt; we cry and let others, including you guys, cry; we boost, bolster, encourage and laugh with each other; we help in each other's frustration.

Whenever men are away, in danger, the wives have always grouped together for close support - with an unspoken understanding of what could happen, and immediate help in many ways if/when it does.

Gay Tilton tells of making an effort to attend a funeral on a cold rainy day. (The wives had pledged to have a representative at each funeral.)  When she arrived, the very young widow was at the grave with only her toddler and a military representative, no family from either side; Gay stayed with her for as long as she possibly could.  Any one of us from the sisterhood could/would have done the same - would sit close if need be, hold her hand, hold her as she cried, doing whatever was needed - knowing that we might be the next one. "Outsiders" don't always understand, or have not suffered that.

It is only by luck, chance or miracles that you guys are here today. We know...and share...that, with words and experience - and we are in touch with, and include, some of the women who lost their men.

When Annell suggested the sisterhood line, the first to join did so because we felt that women communicate differently from men, and we would have our own perspective. We have connected from the start and have a very strong and special bond. (Some of us have said that this is the Internet network that we love, and go to first each day, if we have others.)

Remember, our connection is our lives with you guys.  A British Embassy wife, when asked, in a radio interview, why she had gone to some very remote, difficult postings, replied, "Because I love him!"  Her colleagues, all very reserved British Embassy wives, threw up their arms and cheered, saying, "Finally, someone says it!"  They knew...and we know.

David and I will not be able to attend the reunion - so we will miss (dreadfully) seeing you all.  Although you will be busy organizing, please do notice the sisters. I think you will be able to see, and enjoy, how they react to one another - we send cyberhugs all the time; imagine the real hugs!  I hope this helps you see us as a real part of the TLCB!  We are grateful to you for helping it, and us, to happen.

Thanks,

 Sally MacDonald  

 

After reading what all the other ladies have said, I can't think of anything much to add.  Donna has the 'military wife' thing pegged completely and Sally's words about how we've connected are so true too.

When Bob retired from the Air Force, I was like the proverbial 'fish out of water.'  Our entire married life had been spent on active duty and now it was time to become a civilian.  I dreaded it.  I hated the thought of living in one place for the rest of my life and I still miss active duty life terribly.  We were here for 7 years before I connected with the Vetwives list, through Annell, and then the Sisterhood list was formed.  It has been wonderful to connect with these ladies.

Bob never talked about his time in Thailand at all.  He didn't think there was much to be said.  And he has never, ever been a joiner in anything.  I was very surprised when he told me about joining the Brotherhood and almost shocked when he said he wanted to go to the reunion in DC last summer.  The Call to the Wall last summer was one of the most moving experiences I've ever had.  I was nervous about meeting all these people, but Donna introduced me to lots of folks, and we spent the rest of the weekend talking up the sisterhood list with every lady who would listen.

Through these wonderful ladies I've made some fantastic new friends.  And by reading the Mission list, I've learned so much about what our guys actually did over in SEA and the 'Secret War.'  It has all been an enjoyable and enriching experience.

Linda Norway

 

 

What the TLCB means to me is acceptance.

You may know that it was Dan Decker who introduced me to the TLCB. He had written to me in praise of some of my poetry that he had come across on the net. I believe I still have his printed out e-mail among my Vietnam poems and other papers.

Like some of the vets, I had felt a little "left out" back then. When my ex husband went to Vietnam, I moved from the base at Myrtle Beach AFB, SC to stay with my parents in PA until his return. In doing that, I lost the support of other wives whose husbands were away for that long, lonely year. My "In-Country" was my country. All along, I was writing in a journal and writing poetry about things I read, saw, heard or felt.

But I felt very alone. My ex  came home alone - the only Airman on the plane - no fanfare. Somehow that made me sad. About 3 years after his return from Vietnam, we divorced. He disappeared, and I had a son to raise alone. I went to work and took care of him and me.

I gradually stopped writing much of anything at all. When my son was growing up, I didn't have a lot of time or energy to write!

When he turned 18, he went into the Army. It triggered something in me ...That very day I wrote "No Vietnam For You." All of the fears and hopes from the past came flooding back for me. I began to write again - about how Vietnam had affected my life, and now I had a son in the military, and I worried about him.

Anyway, about 3 years ago I got on the computer and then on the Internet. I found a chat channel of Vietnam vets - they were so nice and accepting of me, it was humbling. I said I wrote poems - someone asked me to send one of them, and I very reluctantly shared. They liked it and asked for more. Eventually, I had poems put on the Vietnam Veterans Homepage. Which is where Dan saw them and sent me his e-mail. He told me about your group, and I signed on - all of the guys and Leigh were very kind, and I felt at home and very at ease. It seemed from some of the comments at one point, that other Vietnam vets had or were, slighting you folks and it made me mad. That's when I wrote "Heroes" for the TLCB

When Annell got the Sisterhood going, I was very pleased, and it has grown, as well.  Due to some family concerns and illnesses, I had "dropped out" for awhile but have recently gotten back in with the gang. And I'm glad to be there. I've never met any of you, but I have shared in the process of Dan and Annell getting new jobs and a new home, our Sister friend, Judee, passing away, stories on our pets, our families, our dreams and hopes and fears, our daily lives.

Not sure how the quilt idea got started, but we all thought it was a great idea and for such a great cause. I can't sew anything, with the possible exception of putting buttons on - so I admire Rosie and anyone else who can do such things.

I scanned a photo of my father for his square. He and I did not see eye to eye on lots of things as I was growing up.  I believe he suffered from PTSD as a result of his WWII experiences. He was a hard man to live with. When he was diagnosed with lung cancer, I sat on his bed one day, and we talked a long time. I said some things that needed to be said, and I was grateful that we had gotten the air cleared and the path for healing was set. One afternoon, he gave me his war photos and two "journals". He told me some of the stories of what had happened to him during WWII in China and told me that he was now free of them and he had given them to me to carry. I was unsure then if that was a good thing or not.  I felt, after some consideration,  that maybe I could take someone's pain via their story and translate that into poetry. In the telling is the healing, and so, I consider it a gift to me.  My father had nightmares all of my life. Until he told me the things that had caused them.

My desire to write the things I do is still not understood by some of my friends and family members. It doesn't matter to me anymore. A Vietnam nurse said to me once that I had a soul that had "been there". That means a great deal to me.

So, the TLCB and the Sisterhood are a home away from home for me – a safe place to share my poems, which are so much a part of me.

And I thank you all for that.

Christina Sharik

 

HEROES

~FOR THE THAILAND, LAOS, CAMBODIA BROTHERHOOD~

BECAUSE...........THEY ALSO SERVED.

 

If you went, and didn't hide, then you served.

Hero is the word that you deserved -

hero is what you were not called

and now I'm angry - and appalled -

Bad enough the country didn't honor you,

now veterans' themselves are questioning, too?

Who knew where you would go?

You took your chances when you signed -

who knew where you would be assigned?

You did your duty, and because of you

those In-Country vets could come home, too -

If you wore a uniform back then,

you are a hero -

you can walk tall among your fellow men.

Christina Sharik 7-98

 

This is in response to the sisterhood and quilt question.  The quilt was my idea.  Signature quilts have been used for fund raising for more than a century.  It may have been my idea but definitely not a new idea.  The sisterhood liked the idea and voted on colors for the quilt. We came up with red, white and blue.

It seems very appropriate.  I asked about patterns and got a few votes.  It is very difficult for a group to make a quilt through the mail.  All the sisters offered to help in any way they could. That brought out many funny stories about home economics classes. Leigh's story was the best.  I decided that since I was doing the sewing I would keep the pattern simple.  I was not sure at the time how many blocks we would need.  I am still not sure.  The quilt is a work in progress.  You can tell from the scanned square I am using a patriotic fabric and white for the blocks.  The border will be red and maybe a little white.  You asked about the more interesting squares.  I can't  pick one over the others.  I love the scanned pictures and the patches though.  I have 3 things that are keen interest in my life, veterans, children and quilts.  I am not sure of the order of importance, it changes now and again.

My experience with the sisterhood is one of total acceptance.

We laugh, cry and relate on many levels.  We all have something in common yet are very different in many respects.  We are just like any family unit.  We are there for each other in good time or sad. We care deeply for each other even though most of us have not met in person.

Some times it is easier to talk to our cyber-sisters than to our birth families.  We are never judgmental and always supportive of each other. 

This is starting to sound like Saint Sisterhood.  If you have any more questions please ask.  I am not the writer in the family as you can tell.  If you want to use any part of this feel free to make changes as you see fit.

Rosie Wheatley

 

I will try to tell you what the TLCS means to me, although it will not be easy following Sally, Donna, Linda and Christine. What they said, pretty much said it all.

I was recruited by Annell and Donna by way of Larry following "The Call to the Wall" Reunion last summer in D.C. I must admit that until I became involved with the sisterhood, I found it difficult to really get into it. I have a very active life and have never been one for idle chit chat. As a matter of fact, had I not thought it beneficial for Larry, I would not have been so enthusiastic with Larry spending countless hours on the computer with the TLCB and the "Call Sign Project". There were times I felt left out of his world and the things that he values most in his life.

When Larry returned from the reunion, the first thing he said was that next year I had to go with him. He was high off of that trip for weeks to come. He mentioned that some of the wives were getting a group together and could be contacting me soon. Well, they did and I signed up wondering when I would ever get the time and energy to learn the computer let alone communicate with people I don't even know.

The first thing these ladies did was all send me an introduction e-mail of who they were and what they did in the real world. I did the same and, well the magic began to happen. I was no longer on the outside looking in on Larry's world. I was in his world 100%.

That was October 10,1999. Since then we have celebrated the holidays and birthdays of each other. New Years was a blast! The birthdays get more creative all the time. Several of us have had some family crisis and health problems. The bonding between us grew as we supported each other’s needs. We have shared more than just funny chit-chat. We have laughed and cried together and now we are really getting involved as a unit with the Quilt project. This project joins us at the hip and brings us even closer to our men because it is for a cause they, too, believe in.

Thank-you for letting me express how I feel about my sisterhood. It has been an honor and pleasure.

Sincerely,

Phyllis Johnson

 

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Just as the Internet has brought together and sustained the TLC Brotherhood and Sisterhood, the Internet gives us a ready forum to respond to continuing slights against American Veterans.  Just ask CNN whether it will ever try to promote a new series using a false documentary about American soldiers using Sarin gas on defectors in Laos.  Just ask Jane Fonda, who suddenly discovered she had a scheduling conflict that prevented her from accepting an award to have been offered by the American Bar Association.  Members of the TLC Brotherhood (and scores of other Internet groups of veterans) come online in a hurry when injustices are discovered.

Perhaps responses from the TLC Sisterhood strike the networks even harder, since advertisers’ demographics studies often show more concern for women who make so many of a family’s marketing decisions.  We in the Brotherhood are buoyed by responses such as the following that come from determined members of the Sisterhood:

Jimmie H. Butler

 

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Chris Matthews

Hardball/MSNBC

1 June 2000

 

RE: Vietnam--The Unwinnable War

 

Chris,

I really love your show and I think you ask great questions. But sometimes you make me so mad I want to SPIT!!!!!

You said to Bob Woodward that it was an unwinnable war. Your perception of the war is all wrong. Our guys were prepared to fight an all out war, but the politicians wouldn't let them. The politicians should have stayed out of 'Nam like they did in Desert Storm; even Robert MacNamara admits now that he handled the war badly. Every time there was a step forward, the politicians put our guys back two steps. We NEVER lost a battle in Vietnam, only in the media and the halls of government. This myth that you and other media people perpetuate about the unwinnable war has hurt the morale and psyche of many of our generation of those who DID go, who DIDN'T run.

Yesterday's hippies and mouthpieces like Jane Fonda, Tom Hayden and Abbe Hoffman still think they were responsible for getting us out of there. No, they were responsible for the next generation of gutless politicians and lost patriotism and gimme' kids. How dare you question Mr. Bush's National Guard time? He could have been called in to replace those guys taken out on the stretchers at any time; they would have had to scour the streets of London to find Mr. Clinton as he organized protests against our country.

Yes, I'm bitter. The media continues to dump the stereotypes on the American people about the Nam vets. A lot of guys out there never got the Welcome Home they deserved; instead, they got off the planes and quickly hid in the airport men's room to change out of their uniforms to avoid being spit on and called 'baby killers' by others who had no honest conscientious objection to war, but rather cowardice with a "moral" facade.

And if you really think that Mr. Gore was in any danger over there just because he says he carried an M-16, I think you're delusional.

You've said in the past you've regretted not going. Prove it. Start going back to your journalistic roots and, finally, be the one to get the truth out there. If you think it doesn't matter to enough people out there after all this time, think again. If you could read the vast number of list-serve posts on this subject all over the internet, there are thousands and thousands who DO still care and do notice every slight and misperception the main-stream media puts out there. The documentaries and 'retrospectives' rarely ever get it right.

Thank you for your time,

Linda Norway

Rockledge, FL

 

 

 

 

 

Re:  Speaking Out For Justice Award from the American Association of University Women

 

18 June 1999

To Whom it May Concern;

I am writing to express my absolute disgust about your "Speaking out for Justice" award to Jane Fonda. Perhaps many of your governing members are too young to remember that she single-handedly did more to damage the morale of our Armed Services during the VietNam conflict than any college protest during the era. If youth is your excuse for this slap in the face, then I would suggest that your university women sign up for a remedial course in History 101. I know you are by now aware of the article by Jeff Jacoby concerning this matter; I can only hope that you have taken the time to read it. There was no justice for our guys when they came home to spits and sneers, and there should be no award for Ms. Fonda.

Linda Norway

Rockledge, FL

Proud wife of a 26yr AF Vet

 

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SISTERHOOD

Paraphrased from Debby Guisti

 

I am a military wife - a member of that sisterhood of women who have had the courage to watch their men go into battle, and the strength to survive until their return. Our sorority knows no rank, for we earn our membership with a marriage license, traveling over miles, or over nations to begin a new life with our military husbands. Within days, we turn a barren, echoing building into a home, and though our quarters are inevitably white-walled and unpapered, we decorate with the treasures of our travels, for we shop the markets of the globe. Using hammer and nail, we tack our pictures to the wall, and our roots to the floor as firmly as if we had lived there for a lifetime. We hold a family together by the bootstraps, and raise the best of "brats", instilling in them the motto, "Home is togetherness", whether motel, or guest house, apartment or duplex.

As military wives we soon realize that the only good in "Good-bye" is the "Hello again." For as salesmen for freedom, our husbands are often on the road, at sea, or in the sky, leaving us behind for a week, a month, an assignment. During separations we guard the home front, existing until the homecoming. Unlike our civilian counterparts, we measure time, not by years, but by tours - married at Knox, a baby born at Portsmouth, a special anniversary at Yorktown, a promotion in MacDill. We plant trees and never see them grow tall, work on projects completed long after our departure, and enhance our community for the betterment of those who come after us. We leave a part of ourselves at every stop.

Through experience, we have learned to pack a suitcase, a car or hold baggage, and live indefinitely from the contents within: and though our fingers are sore from the patches we have sewn, and the silver we have shined, our hands are always ready to help those around us.

Women of peace, we pray for a world in harmony, for the flag that leads our men into battle, will also blanket them in death. Yet we are an optimistic group, thinking of the good, and forgetting the bad, cherishing yesterday, while anticipating tomorrow.

Never rich by monetary standards, our hearts are overflowing with a wealth of experiences common only to those united by the special tradition of military life.  We pass on this legacy to every military bride,  welcoming her with outstretched arms, with love and friendship, from one sister to another, sharing in the bounty of our unique, fulfilling military way of life.

HANOI JANE

 

Some of us have moved on regarding Jane Fonda.  Most of us who lost friends during the Vietnam War have not.  A few years ago Barbara Walters advertised an upcoming interview in which Jane Fonda supposedly was going to apologize for some of her conduct during the Vietnam War.  I watched with an open mind.  Twice Barbara said something to the effect of: “You said that statements that American POWs in North Vietnam were being mistreated were propaganda lies by the American government.  Yet when the POWs came home in 1973, it appeared that many had been tortured by their North Vietnamese captors.”  Both times, Jane Fonda’s response was something like: “That’s been so long ago, it really doesn’t matter any more.”

Those responses didn’t cut it for me.  Here are a couple of many items shared about Jane Fonda.  The traditional punishment for treason is execution or a sentence of life without parole.  Perhaps, in a sense, Jane Fonda has received a sentence of life without any hope of parole.  JHB